Walk In Your Purpose, Purposefully.

In life, there will be times when you will have no one to hold your hand. And it is within this moment, to be sure to walk in your purpose regardless of what redirects you because that is what makes you the strongest. August 22nd and 23rd, 2016 marked the first time I decided to walk in my purpose. Determined to go to school, I was in New York City with duffel bag luggage draped over my shoulders, a bookbag on my back, and Dunks on my feet. I had no idea how the day was going to play out, but I was stepping out on faith and ready to “make it work” in the words of Tim Gunn. My classes were already registered and paid for, but I had no housing and just $150 on my credit card. That morning, I boarded the train at 4AM and arrived at New York Penn Station around 11AM. Stepping off that train, my heart raced a million beats per minute. Excited, but prepared for the worst.

Only a few blocks away from the campus, the Fashion Institute of Technology or FIT is where I was headed. But, I knew as soon as I started to walk, it was going to be a long day. Weighing in at only 106lbs at the time, I was carrying luggage at least a third of my weight. All essentials by the way, required necessities whether I was granted housing or not. Every step I took brought me back to track & field weight training practice. And with basically no weight training since then, 2009, I had to depend on my stamina from yoga practices and my determination to learn.

Awakened to my purpose and guided by my higher power, every moment leading up to that first step off the train was fueled by prayers and meditation. Sixteen months previously, is when the I was introduced to meditation in Michael Stone’s “Embodied Awakening Weekend Workshop”. A week before attending the workshop, I decided to do a little research. During my study, I came across a quote that read, “Prayer is when you talk to God. Meditation is when God talks to you.” Seeking a better understanding, I kept it in mind. One week later I would hear Michael say, "Whatever comes up during meditation, is your teacher." That was the key I needed.

At that point in time, I was praying heavily for my higher power to show me what his purpose was for my life. After receiving Michael’s knowledge, I put two and two together. “To receive God’s knowledge, meditate.” With this new awareness, I began to pray more so than I already was, and practiced listening for my teacher. While I do not practice any set religion, I do believe in God or a higher power.

Nine months later, I still did not have a steady practice of meditation. So, for my 2016 New Year’s Resolution, I decided to meditate every day for a year since Stone stated it would be life changing. Holding no expectation, my resolution was going well. Midway into the third week, I took note that was able to clear my mind and settle into quietness sooner than any other day. Eyes closed and body relaxed, I focused on consciously breathing.

Abruptly, the vision of a woman walking down a runway, directly towards me, flashed into sight for about three seconds. Then, everything went all black. Immediately, I opened my eyes, looked up and said, “Wow, clothes?! My purpose is making clothes?!” I was shocked. Not only had God answered my prayers, but he had actually shown me like I asked. I had no idea where to begin, I had never made an article of clothing ever. But, that night I went to sleep thankful and ready. In the following weeks, I found the Fashion Institute of Technology, applied to their Fashion Design program, and watched hours of tutorial videos on YouTube.

Being a designer was never a serious pursuit of mine, until I started to hear several highly praised designers speaking out about not wanting black customers to buy their goods. The last time I heard that ignorance, I do believe I was watching E! News with my grandmother. Disappointed, I thought to myself, “You lose what you do not appreciate. I would love to cloth those underappreciated customers.”

My grandmother is one of the reasons I have an eye for fashion. For years, I have been watching award shows and seasons of Project Runway with her. My baby sister is another reason since we both love Say Yes to the Dress!

I used to entertain the idea of design, but never made any real dedication until my prayers were answered. Although I was doing something for the first time, I knew my garments had to be crafted to the last detail. Dedicated night and day, nothing but hard work, sweat, blood, and tears went into creating my portfolio. Numerous garments were started, but since I was fresh out the gates whenever I could not configure how to sew what I saw in my head, I just saved it for later and began my next idea. Two garments were required for submission, and two weeks before the date I only had one complete piece, which was a lined, quilted pen skirt. In a crunch, I knew I needed an eye-catcher, whether is was complete or not. So for my second piece I decided to shoot my shot beading a gown, which I did diligently up to about two hours before having the photoshoot. Nowhere near finished I had to roll with the punches. My mother was my wingman/camerawoman. Racing against light, God was truly on my side. Richmond had had inclement weather with heavy snow a week prior, but the day of the shoot was oddly warm.

For the most part, everything went smoothly, but I did have a moment. After changing into the dress, I tripped up a stair in athletic slides. Mid trip, I realized my shoulder was heading straight for a stone column. The only thing on my mind was the dress, so I braced for the impact and caught myself. One busted elbow later, the dress was still intact sustaining only a minor wardrobe malfunction. A ripped seam. With no needle and thread at hand, I had to go with the flow. That literal trip had my elbow sore for weeks. Below are a few pictures from that day.

Conquering my challenge, I received the acceptance letter one month later. I was excited to get back in school, but there was problem. I did not have enough financial aid for housing and no scholarship money. Working to paint commission art, I had a few bites, but nothing fell through. So, I started a GoFundMe page. Other than one donation, it was rather unsuccessful. The Sunday before my departure, I even asked the ministries of my church home for financial assistance to further my education. They were also unable to help. Understanding that God had guided me this far, I had faith that things would fall into place. I put it in God’s hands and continued to build my portfolio.

August 22nd, 2016, was the FIT New Student Orientation. Stepping foot off my first train ride and onto campus for the first time, I was on a mission of knowledge. Upon arrival, housing was main priority. Most of my day was spent running back and forth between the campus housing office and financial aid office. Unable to accumulate any further aid, I sat on the FIT campus long enough to organize my thoughts and improvise. At that moment, I was in full survival and grind mode, strategizing. With no one to turn to, but myself I has to make something.

I booked a room for the night, then the real test began. Making it 2.3 miles with 30lbs of luggage draped, in some damn Dunks. The estimated walking time was an hour and 15 minutes. The clock read 7:06PM. The sun was setting and I was in a foreign environment, so I had to get a move on.

Now a legit Registered Yoga Teacher (RYT), I scoped out every location I could possibly audition for a teacher position. Every now and then, I would take breaks to relieve my shoulders and neck of the luggage and to observe. During one moment of rest, Equinox gym was right in front of me. Instructing at Equinox had been on my mind for months. So my first thought:

August 23rd, 2016

First line of business, Equinox. Check.

The rest of my walk, I peeped out restaurants to eat at once I laid my luggage in the room. 8:35PM, I made it to my destination, smack dab in the middle of Chinatown. Did I care? Nope, sure did not. Not if it meant a place to secure my belongings and rest my head, off the street. Relieving myself of the weight, I called my mother and former partner to let them know I was OK. Conversing with my mother, she informed me that my baby sister had purchased me a train ticket back home. My entire day was evidence of God's redirection, so not to waste her money I just went with the flow.

August 23rd, 2016

First line of business, Equinox Cancelled.

I changed my sweat drenched t-shirt and headed back out for some food and drink. Which ended up being two slices of pepperoni pie and cheesecake. Once I actually laid down to rest, the thin walls made sure that did not happen. In one of the moments where I did fall asleep, I was awakened by a dream. A dream like I had reached the light at the end of a tunnel. Eyes now open, I took it as lesson. And I concluded that there is always light in darkness, but you must seek it.

While school at F.I.T was no longer on my agenda, knowing that I was accepted into a fashion design program in a fashion capital at fashion school ranked within the top five worldwide was enough motivation to keep me going.

The next morning, I woke up to the loud banging sound of building renovations and construction. Now mentally prepared, I had to get physically prepared. More than slightly sore, I stretched and got myself together. Dressed for maximum comfort, I threw on some Dri-Fit shorts, the loosest pants packed, and an army fatigue crop top. I checked-out at 11AM and hit the streets. The train did not board until 2PM, so I had some leisure time, but it was not an option to miss my boarding. 12:30PM I was at the Station and looking for some lunch. Not wanting to wander too far away from my gate, I decided on a smoothie.

The entire ride back, this quote was on my mind.

Eager to see what that something better was, it came a lot sooner than I thought.

Although my college education is currently on hold, I still take the time to educate myself. Since I have been back in RVA, I have been taking business courses offered by the City of Richmond. By participating in these courses, I have acquired the knowledge and tools to build my first business and prepare for future businesses. July 2017, I launched my first business, The Redd Art Chronicles. God’s redirection to starting my career is without a doubt, something better. In my eyes, it is the green light that I am on the right path. As I move forward to pursue my purpose, I am only accepting what God has already decided is mine.

Understanding your purpose in life takes time to connect with your higher power or God. Meditation is that connection and it allows the time and space for your higher power to teach you. The way you learn will determine how your high power delivers their message of knowledge. As a visual or verbal learner, your higher power is going to utilize the way you learn best to convey their point of view and guidance to your prayers. Your higher power knows your full potential, meditation just develops a line of communication for you to hear your lessons. The answers to your prayers will always be a lesson, so be ready to learn from a higher point of view. Learning to listen determines whether your lesson is just that, or an ever-evolving blessing.

Our higher power is constantly guiding us, so why not meditate to gain awareness and stay on course with the Divine Plan. Your mind must reach a destination before the physical even crosses that coordinate on the map. The higher power is what actually guides the process and progress to reach that point. While your physical body may be wandering, your higher power is not lost. Supporting the fact that all those that wander are not lost. Once you maintain a line of communication with your higher power, you will feel more grounded, and with a purpose.

Even though your higher power may guide you to doing something for the first time, accept the challenge. If it does not challenge you, it does not change you. Evolve to your full potential. No matter how fast or slow, trust your process.

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